Wow, life and God is so funny. As I sit here and type ( half sleep) I realize that I will always be a work in progress. I am forever learning growing, and discovering more about myself. This relates to me as a Singer, a songwriter, a wife, and a mother.
I am learning to relax and enjoy the lessons as they come instead of freaking out every time things don't go according to plan.
Being a Christian, wife, mother, or an artist isn't about being perfect. Its about being ok with learning how to become a better you. Its about taking responsibility for your actions (if they were wrong) and admitting to yourself and whomever necessary that you need work on that area in your life.
God has used my failures, disappointments, shortcomings, bad days, etc. To prove to me that no matter what I do, I can never be as perfect as him. However, His intent is that I completely surrender myself to him and his process of making me into the perfect women that he pre-destined me to be before I even took my first breath. Yeah, he is awesome like that! Only God can break my face (pride) and love me so gently, so perfectly that it feels as if I'm getting the biggest bear hug ever. I am now learning to love his correction because he corrects those whom he loves, and he does it with love. I am learning to be the best wife, mother, singer, writer that I can be. But I am learning that I can only be the best with him.
So now I try harder to listen before I respond, to pray like my life depends on it, (because it does) and to be able to accept the outcome without freaking out and make changes as needed.
So, because I know that I don't have to be perfect, the stress is lessened, which lessens the depression, which means no more suicidal thoughts!
I'm am staying free and I hope you are too!